Saturday, May 16, 2015

GOP Rep. Gordon Klingenschmitt Warns That Marijuana "Hallucinations" Will Welcome "Demonic Spirits" Into Your Heart!

The human equivalent of spilled bong water

Gordon Klingenschmitt is the stems and seeds in the bowl of life.

Yes, old Klingenschmitt is at it again! "Dr. Chaps", the alternate persona he believes he takes on when preaching, is back with a vengeance and has a new message for all his viewer.

If you don't know Gordon Klingenschmitt from my previous rants he is the disgraced former Navy Chaplain who was court-martialed for disobeying direct orders and now is a member of the Colorado House of Representatives for the 15th district… For reals! I don't know how it happened but it did and it's reflecting very poorly on Colorado.

Anyway...

Now that Colorado’s latest legislative session has ended Klingenschmitt has gone back to his radio show so he can properly address the bee in his bonnet! You see Gordo is fighting' mad about Colorado's legalization of pot!

And it's not just the legalization of pot that has him all in a lather. No, it's the hallucinations that the wacky tobaccy gives you which in turn invites demons to possess your very soul with every toke you take!

Now even though the National Institutes of Health say that pot itself does not cause hallucinations Klingenschmitt knows better because he has the scriptures to tell him the real deal when it comes to the devil's weed. Dr. Chaps described the mary jane induced hallucinations this way...

When you begin hallucinating, I’m told, and you begin seeing these images, do you think that’s coming from the spirit of God? No. You’re having apparitions and you are seeing and interacting with and welcoming to rule your heart a demonic spirit of drunkenness. That’s not recreational. It’s evil.”

And he doesn't stop there. Klingenschmitt then hits up the good book to drive his point home. For this he recites 1 Peter 5:8, which talks says…

"Be alert and of a sober mind. Your enemy the Devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour"

In the past Klingenschmitt has argued that the forbidden fruit the Bible refers to could actually have been… get this… WEED!!!!!

He posits that god didn’t actually place pot on Earth as one of the herbs cited in Genesis 1:29, but rather, says that the "forbidden fruit" that Adam and Eve ate may have been pot. To further bolster his point Klingenschmitt goes on to say that the Bible never actually uses the word “apple,” but it does use “forbidden weed”. So therefore the “weed” that Adam and Eve ate/smoked in the Garden of Eden that caused the fall of man… Is pot.

Mind. Blown.

Here is the video of Klingenschmitt's rant. It'll totally harsh your mellow man…


All this crazy talk leaves me with one burning question… Which hellborn demonic beast should I fear the more? Cheech or Chong?

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