Friday, March 4, 2016

Watch The 11th Republican Debate Edited For Your Pleasure By 5 Different News Programs Plus Bonus Footage Of Trump Desperately Explaining That He Really Does Have A Big Dick (VIDEOS)

The insults came early and often as the combatants took the stage for the eleventh time in this 2016 GOP presidential campaign cycle.

At first it started like normal. Marco called Trump a "con man", Trump caled Cruz "Lyin' Ted" and simply refered to Rubio as "Little Marco" and everyone was happy. But then it happened.

Alas, the low point of the debate season reared it's ugly one eyed head when Trump felt the need to reassure America that the size of his manhood was indeed adequate after the size of his baby maker was called into question by little Marco... in one of his "stump" speeches.

It went a little something like this...

"He hit my hands. Nobody has ever hit my hands, I've never heard of this. What?

When Trump was done pretending this line of attack by Rubio was something new (the joke about Trump's hands started more than 25 years ago, when Graydon Carter began referring to Trump in the pages of the satirical Spy magazine as a "short-fingered vulgarian") he then stated...

"He said I have small hands but I've always heard people say, 'Donald, you have the most beautiful hands. Look at those hands, are they small hands? (Trump then raised his hands for viewers to see) And, he referred to my hands -- 'if they're small, something else must be small.' I guarantee you there's no problem. I guarantee."

Can you even begin to imagine what would have happened if President Obama said any of this... It boggles the mind what Fox News would've done.

Speak of the devil...

Fox News once again snagged this edition of the seemingly endless slog of Republican presidential debates and once again and despite the Trump's dick-splaining it was of course unwatchable. For this reason we have gone ahead and found some clips of the event that have been edited down to tolerable size for human consumption.

Once again... Enjoy?

* PS - if you wanna hear about Trumps wee-wee skip to the last video if you are so inclined.


Here is the Times' edit of the give and take in three minutes...



Here is CNN's cut of the event in a minute and a half...



Here is the Wall Street Journal's stab at encapsulating the events in two minutes flat...



Here's ABC News' splice of the shindig in just over a minute...



Here's VOX's clip of just some good old mean spirited debate funnin' with a yoga punchline...




And as promised here is a clip of Trump desperately trying to explaining to everyone that he really does have a big peen...


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