It had been a couple o' bad weeks for Donald Trump and he hadn't received the adulation and adoration he deserved and required for many many days. So he did what needed to be done.
He held a strokefest rally!!! YAY!!!
Lil' Donnie went all the way down to Cedar Rapids, Iowa to get some much needed love.
But while he was down there basking in the applause like a pig in shit he also decided to float some of the dumbest ideas you have ever heard.
One of the things Trump suggested was that he wanted to enact a law prohibiting immigrants from receiving welfare benefits for at least five years after they enter the country.
Trump detailed his proposal telling the crowd that his administration would get to work on the bill "very shortly."...
"I believe the time has come for new immigration rules which say those seeking admission into our country must be able to support themselves financially and should not use welfare for a period of at least five years,"
There's only one problem with his plan... It already exists and has for over 20 years.
The Personal Responsibility and Work Opportunity Reconciliation Act already makes it illegal for immigrants to have access to welfare benefits during their first five years in the United States and was passed in 1996 under President Bill Clinton's administration.
Another dandy idea Don trotted out for his people was a new plan for his big beautiful wall along the US/Mexico border.
Mr. Trump told his supporters that he would give the "an idea that nobody has heard about yet"...
"We're thinking of something that's unique, we're talking about the southern border, lots of sun, lots of heat. We're thinking about building the wall as a solar wall, so it creates energy and pays for itself. And this way, Mexico will have to pay much less money, and that's good, right? Solar wall, panels, beautiful. I mean actually think of it, the higher it goes the more valuable it is. Pretty good imagination right? Good? My idea."
I'm sure the coal miners will appreciate his ingenuity and the fact that their (and all of our) tax dollars will be going to pay the solar panes to adorn his wall that already has a projected $70 billion dollar price tag. Plus there's the fact that his party and base loathe green energy.
Then it was time to insult the crowd. One assumes that not many billionaires attended last night's rally and if they did they came on the same plane as Trump. That's what made Trump's statement about only hiring rich people so bizarre.
He began by telling the audience that he couldn't believe "some people" were giving him a hard time about only having multi-millionaires and billionaires in his cabinet.
Trump went on to explain that billionaires like his commerce secretary Wilbur Ross and his economic adviser Gary Cohn “had to give up a lot to take these jobs” going from massive pay days to working for "peanuts”.
“And I love all people, rich or poor, but in those particular positions I just don’t want a poor person.”
The crowd applauded.
To finish off the night of yuge ideas Trump actually had the balls to reveal what his 2020 re-election campaign slogan would be...
"Keep America Great!"
Trump said he loved it so much that he told his lawyer to trademark and register it...
"If you like it —I think I like it, right? Do this: 'Keep America Great,' with an exclamation point. 'Keep America Great,'"
The only problem is that the phrase was already trademarked for the 2016 dystopian horror film "The Purge: Election Year" who's plot is that every year there is a 12-hour period during which all crime, including murder, is legal.
One would assume colluding with Russia to fix an American election would be covered during that 12-hour time period as well.